Preparing for Marriage: An Expert Guide to Premarital Counseling
You've had conversations with family and friends and sought their wisdom about long-term relationships. You are ready for this commitment; you're ready to get married. You are not alone! This time of year, many people are evaluating their commitment level and getting engaged. Deciding to get married is a big decision and can be challenging to navigate; preparation is critical. It's paramount to think through all the implications of tying the knot and ensuring that you and your partner are prepared and committed to the journey.
We design pre-marriage counseling programs to help you understand your future spouse, enhance your emotional connection, and learn how to resolve conflict. Premarital counseling is an essential step for you to take before getting married. In counseling, you will discuss important topics such as finances, communication, conflict resolution, sex, and expectations for the future. Many of these topics can go undiscussed, overlooked, or avoided during the excitement of planning a wedding. Other goals of counseling are to deepen your conversations and identify and manage potential challenges that could arise. This blog post will help prepare you for premarital counseling so you can build a healthier and more connected marriage.
Top 3 Benefits of Premarital Counseling
You and your fiancé come from different backgrounds and have different values and beliefs. Counseling can help you identify background issues that could become challenges in the future. Premarital counseling allows you to discuss and understand each other's views on fundamental topics preventing potential disagreements and misunderstandings after marriage.
Second, counseling before marriage can improve communication between you. Premarital counseling can help you explore your emotions, understand the connection between your feelings and the behavior of your future spouse, and learn how to communicate your emotions in healthy and effective ways in a supportive environment. Learning how to talk and listen to each other can help you build a solid foundation for your marriage.
Sometimes, it can be difficult for couples to agree on what is important to them and how to compromise on issues. Premarital counseling professionals can help you develop problem-solving skills. In counseling, you can learn how to work together to resolve conflicts and find solutions that work for you both. You can build a shared vision for the future with better understanding and problem-solving skills. Ready to begin premarital counseling?
When to start premarital counseling? We recommend you begin premarital counseling early in your engagement or 6-8 months before your wedding. This gives you ample time to work through any challenges and build a strong foundation for a successful marriage. However, we understand some couples are preoccupied and wait until later in their engagement to begin premarital counseling. For that reason, we offer a variety of premarital counseling sessions to fit your schedule and the timing of your nuptials. When you're ready to begin premarital counseling, the next step is to evaluate how counseling can fit into your busy schedule.
Top 5 Considerations for Premarital Counseling
First, look at your schedule. The amount of time invested in premarital counseling can be valuable for you, as it can help you start your marriage on the right foot. Generally, there are 7-11 sessions in a premarital counseling series, each lasting around 75-90 minutes.
Next, consider your location preference. Premarital counseling can be virtual or in person. Virtual premarital counseling can provide convenience and flexibility, as you can work through tough topics in the comfort of your home and on your schedule. On the other hand, in-person premarital counseling can allow you to disconnect from other responsibilities to focus solely on you and your future spouse. Once you sum session time and travel time, you can decide which location best fits your needs, schedule, and preferences.
Next, ask yourself, do you have a faith-based counseling preference? Decide if you want to include your faith and explore spiritual values and beliefs. We offer Christian Premarital Counseling and Nonreligious Premarital Counseling to fit your needs. You decide if Christian premarital counseling is included and how much. Christian premarital counseling provides a biblical perspective on marriage to ensure your marriage is built on a firm spiritual foundation. While nonreligious premarital counseling focuses on helping you work through any challenges and create a plan for a successful marriage. You decide which type of counseling fits your beliefs, values, and the kind of guidance you need to build a lasting commitment and marriage.
Once you've made space on your calendar, the next consideration is the cost. As you develop your wedding budget, plan for your marriage, also. We recommend you spend about 10% of your wedding budget on premarital counseling. The experience can be invaluable. The premarital counseling fees range from $125-200 per 60-90 minute session. For those getting married in the next 1-2 months, we offer 2-3 hour sessions. The fees for the longer sessions range from $350-$900. We offer lower rates for groups instead of free premarital counseling. The groups are limited to 10 participants or five couples. See our Groups page for more information about our upcoming premarital counseling groups. We accept insurance for individual counseling only.
This last consideration is the most important: evaluate your willingness to share. You may feel uncomfortable sharing intimate details of your relationship with a third party. Our couples succeed in Premarital Counseling when they are willing to talk openly and honestly about their relationship. Our therapists will guide you through different topics, as mentioned above. By discussing these topics, you can learn to understand each other's expectations and gain conflict resolution skills to manage conflict effectively. A typical session may include experiential activities, conversations with each other, role-playing, and open discussion. You can also expect to gain insight into your personality, understand your partner's personality, and learn more about yourself as an individual and as part of a couple. By the end of the sessions, you usually leave with a better understanding of your relationship and a plan for moving forward in a positive direction. With an understanding of how you can include premarital counseling in your short-term life, the next step is to find a therapist.
Finding the Right Counselor for Premarital Counseling
Finding the right counselor for premarital counseling is vital in preparation for marriage. Most therapists are mental health professionals capable of developing strategies to address various issues. Finding counseling professionals with the experience, tools, and resources to help guide you through the marriage preparation process is essential. Ensure you check their credentials. After you've confirmed their experience, set up 15-20 minute consultations with multiple therapists. During the consultation conversations, you can assess whether or not you are compatible with potential therapists and their counseling strategies. Evaluate which therapist you and your fiancé feel comfortable with. Pick one you feel the most comfortable sharing the details of your life, has the training to meet your needs and schedule your first session.
Preparing for Your First Premarital Counseling Session
Before the first session, you will be asked to complete intake prework and, potentially, an assessment. This is very similar to the forms your doctor asks you to complete. The assessment results are used to understand unspoken relationship dynamics and communication and conflict styles. The two primary assessments we use are the Gottman Checkup Premarital Counseling and the Prepare-Enrich assessments. Also, we use the 5 Love Languages and Apology Languages. Completion usually takes 45 minutes to 1 hour, depending on your reading speed. With all this information, your counselor will develop a customized plan and strategies to provide you and your fiancé with the tools and resources to build a strong foundation for your marriage.
You're merging two lives and two sets of mental and emotional issues and behaviors. If either of you is experiencing any mental health challenges, such as anxiety, depression, or other issues, your couples counselor will recommend other mental health professionals to assist you in strengthening your mental health in preparation for marriage. Commit to the process; your counselor is making a commitment to you.
Overall, premarital counseling can be a valuable tool for couples looking to build a strong foundation for their marriage. It can help you identify and discuss important issues, improve communication, and develop problem-solving skills to help you manage any problems that may arise. Ultimately, premarital counseling is an investment in the future of your relationship, and the right counselor can help ensure that you are well-prepared for a successful marriage. Plan beyond the big day; prepare for a lifetime together.
Now, you are ready to take the next step, and we are prepared to help! Space is limited. Click the schedule an appointment button now!