Men Don’t Get Depressed
Hey CJ!
I am a man, and I have been battling depression almost daily. It took a lot to type those words. I do not know when it started, but I remember lacking the energy to do the things I used to enjoy.
During 2020, my mental health and my marriage took a nosedive. Thanks to the mandated quarantine, I couldn't play basketball or go to the gym, and hooking up for a drink wasn't an option either.
I found myself sleeping more and working less. I was tired and hated my job. I was working from home, and I just wanted to get away from my family, but I couldn't. My wife complained that I was more irritable with her and the children than she ever remembered. We had our fourth child, and I was overjoyed, but those feelings were quickly smothered by the pressure to be a great father. And I want to be a good dad and a good husband, whatever that means.
My sister recommended I get help, but I don’t want to seek help. My dad never needed help or talked to a counselor, and he is fine. I've started drinking more but it is under control. I've been trying to be happy around my wife and kids and it seems to be working so I'll keep at it. Besides, I would not know where to begin in therapy my life has been fairly normal. I'm sure all men feel this way so what can a counselor do for me?
For men, it can be scary to seek help because of societal norms or perceived weakness. You may fear not being enough or not being able to provide for those in your care. Your relationships may be hanging on by a thread, or your work performance may have worsened, or you may be mentally taxed. You need help with challenging those unhelpful thoughts and behaviors and defining your needs and wants so you can begin living an intentional life. You need the support of your family and friends during this time. They can listen to your fears and concerns and encourage you. Know that you are still a strong and capable man and you can rebound. It is imperative to seek assistance immediately when you experience depression. Despite gender, emotional expression is key to being mentally healthy. You’ve taken one step, take another and get help today.
If you are thinking about harming yourself in any way, it is time to seek help immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number is 800-273-8255. Someone is available 24/7; it is free and confidential.